I was having a conversation with someone about relationships and something was said that really stuck out to me, “I’m not what most people want to date; I’m what they want when they’re ready to get married.” It made me think that in this day and age there is a difference between boyfriend/girlfriend material and husband/wife material. A lot of people are content dating, but not really with the mentality of long-term relationships, but wasn’t dating created with the sole intent of marriage in the end? Dating: investigating compatibility for marriage, so why waste time going through countless people that you know you would never spend the rest of your life with until you’re ready to find that special someone? The reality is people are given so many options in the world, and there are so many people content with “having fun” or “not looking for anything right now,” that the notion of longevity becomes almost non-existent.
The idea of patience also comes into play. We live in a world where we can have what we want, when we want it, and how we want it. If you feel hungry, go run through a drive thru. If you forgot something at home, go run in Wal-Mart and grab another one, get a flat tire, call AAA; don’t want to stand in line at an amusement park, buy a speedy pass, so when it comes to relationships, a lot of people don’t want to wait for the “right” relationship, or wait for a relationship to mature and grow into something that could turn into marriage and a lifetime. People date a person, they don’t see potential and then go date this other person, then that one and that one and eventually give up, or they become okay with having choices that they lose sight of why they started dating in the first place.
There are countless reasons that people give for not looking for real commitment, and not wanting to settle down. Some of which may be legit, most of the time they’re actually just excuses. I argue the fact that if you’re not looking for longevity and the actual purpose of dating, it does a disservice to the people who are and who connect with you while having that desire for more. These people are often left feeling there is something wrong with them, because they give their all to a person who in the end can’t or won’t commit to the relationship. Commitment is not limited to monogamy; it involves commitment of time, loyalty, respect, love, etc. So then this person ends up hurt and distrustful of the next relationship, and may even lose interest in dating. It’s like a vicious cycle, breeding more people who have no interest (in this moment) in dating a person with the goal of longevity. All of which can be alleviated if we make a conscious decision to date with a purpose from day one. Time spent with the right someone will far exceed time wasted on the wrong somebody – and if that’s not where you are in life, you have no desire for anything more at this point.
Don’t waste the time of a person who does. Allow them the opportunity to be available to their heart’s desire finding them. Also, remember most good things don’t happen overnight, and things we want to last forever take time. Be patient, and be wise… it contributes to being happy.
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